My story of ultimate pain?

You love him because he made you feel loved. Weather you knew it was wrong for him to touch you or not didn't matter because finally someone came into your life that would give you the attention that you were craving. I am so sorry that he took advantage of an already broken girl. I can only imagine how difficult that situation would be to live through, and trying to explain the awkward feelings that continue to linger must be a daunting task. You have to remember that this is a normal response to such a situation. You have to remember to work through the feelings that you have without feeling like they are right or wrong. Just recognize that they are yours, and you have a right to them. Try to remember that in life it is hard to feel loved and validated, and very easy to be taken advantage of. It is not so easy to understand what was going through his mind, or hers for that matter. They have their own issues that caused them to behave in these ways. You have the power to change if you want to. You may always feel confused about what happened to you, but it may help you to forgive yourself for the feelings you find to be so hard to let go of. Remind yourself that you were just a young girl who really needed to feel like she was worth something. It just happened in your life that the wrong person found that girl. I am not sure what to say accept that I am sorry and you are not to blame. I wish you the best, and it might be helpful to find a group who have had similar experiences in their lives. It may help to hear from them that what you experience and your feelings about it are not abnormal. And if you ever want to talk. I am here.